Deconstruction

  • Released in 2013
  • 60 Tracks

Notes from Dave:

It’s been a while since I’ve been as inspired and invested in my music in the way that I was with Deconstruction. This is pretty evident by the sheer size of the album itself. In total, Deconstruction is a triple disc album with 60 tracks. Yes, it’s a monster.

I began working on Deconstruction while completing The Mind of God. In fact, “Hellblazer”, “Mi.Mic” and “Sucker Punch” would have ended up on the album 1 if I hadn’t decided to hold them back. It’s been a long, hard road for this album and for good reason. The intent of Deconstruction was not just to do what I always do, but to also finally dump the sad, depressing self-hate. The “OMG I suck” needed to go. I’m sick of that being my life, a frustration that finally broke in the song “This Is It”.

Like The Mind of God, this album also carries a running theme throughout. For Deconstruction, I’m in a room speaking to a woman who is trying to help me deal with the issues I’ve been facing. She talks to me about a variety of topics, including Battlefield 3, my apparent movie fetish and the death letters I’ve been writing.

Bruno is back for The Sequel

Deconstruction brings The Sequel, a song that marked the return of Hi-Fly and rocked harder than the original.

The Bruce Willis Song” is one of my all time favorite songs. I’m a big fan of Bruce, so the idea of making a song made out of references to his movies just made sense to me. It also seems to be well-liked. According to a friend of mine, he sent the song to Bruce but I have no idea if that actually happened or not. If so, that’s awesome.

I always wanted to do another Bruce Willis song but never had the time. Early in 2012, I wrote the song, titled it appropriately, and had managed to exhaust nearly all of the movie references I could (at the time). The instrumental also marks the return of Hi-Fly, the guy who made the instrumental used on the original song.

Many Hands in Production

Deconstruction carries several production credits throughout. Martin Major rocked several pieces of music that are found on this album, such as the inspirational song Fighting. I say inspirational because the song reminds me what I’m doing everything for. No matter what, I must continue. Walls will fall.

Chris Neal and Martin Major are responsible for the music on another song from Deconstruction which falls in the same vein as 10 Years Later and Needless, as it is something that happened to someone else and got to me personally.

For Amanda

For Amanda was written after the suicide of Amanda Todd. Being someone who had to deal with douche bag asshole bullies, this kind of thing bothers me. When she asked for help online, she became a joke and was ridiculed by worthless cock faces until she finally gave up.

The song is directed at people who are going through the same kind of shit. In it, I mention that I’m not against suicide because as I say, it’s your life and no one really knows what you’re going through, no matter what their history is. However, I point out that they shouldn’t let someone else dictate their life. Kids these days should be fighting back against these bullies but they seem to be choosing to give in to them instead. My message through the song is that rather than take the abuse from these assholes, stand up for yourself and kick the fuck out of them if you have to. It’s your life and you only have one. Don’t let these assholes ruin it for you.

The song contains a companion track just after it that demands that the top-selling artists around the world put together an album of music to help these kids realize that things will get better once they get through this shit. Middle School and High School only take up a small amount of time and when it’s over, you’re done with those assholes.

The album requires several specifics:

  • The album must be ABSOLUTELY free.
  • No sponsors. The Artists pay for the album. These kids are paying for your garbage music and products, give something back to them to show you actually care.
  • Distribute the album online through as many outlets as you can (including Reverbnation, Facebook, Twitter, Soundclick, and Myspace).
  • Send physical copies to any and every suicide prevention and guidance counselor you can. This is where money will actually come into play but considering these artists are all millionaires, they won’t even notice the cost, especially when it’s pooled together. To do it cheaper, send blank discs and instructions on how to download and burn the album.

Will it ever happen? Probably not, but I hope it does. I don’t like these guys but kids look up to them and think they are great, so if it helps them then that’s all that matters.

Name Dropping

Misa Campo, a severely sexy woman mentioned in the song Name Dropping

Name dropping is when someone purposefully mentions names in order to get attention. Rush da Russian Rapper did this with his I Wanna Battle Eminem song, mentioning Eminem constantly because of the attention it would bring. Rush didn’t stop with just that one song. He continued to mention him on the rest of his music and it worked.

A lot of rappers name drop. I considered doing a whole song based on name dropping, but of course, I wanted to do something different than what others have done.

The result is a song that mentions and references 21 different women, ranging from semi-pro and professional models to Internet names and porn stars. Basically, I took 21 women from various areas of the unexpected and fit them into a song which I accurately referred to as “the hottest song ever written”.

whatever happened to spitting lyrics with skill behind the art 
now it’s all about the cash and I’m as stacked as Calista Flockhart 
you rock hard and spit well rip raps with wit kid 
but this shit does not sit well with today’s hit list

The song itself is much like what you would expect to hear from me. It has the locomotive style I use which essentially runs over the track heavy, hard and quick. It incorporates the women into the verses through various ways. The hook is probably my favorite of any of the songs I’ve done.


You want the skill I’m here, you want the heat I’m on it 
and there will be no better till I rap with Ewa Sonnet 
no better banger without Ava Addams, Sophie Dee 
Hitomi Tanaka, mic rocka, Mimic’s a beast

Picking the women for the song was difficult. It wasn’t that I had a problem trying to find enough, it was that I had way too many. I sat down and wrote out a list of names and picked from that as I wrote the song. The only thing I knew for sure was that it had to have a Tanya Song reference because of her last name. I did run into a problem with a few of the names but hopefully pronounced them correctly. The most difficult, of course, was the super hot and busty Bettie Ballhaus, but after watching several Youtube videos with her name mentioned (including said by her), I hopefully got it right.

Romy Harmony, Eddie “MetalEd” Schrock, Stephanie Kay, Tia Alexandra Frigaard, and more

Unlike almost all of my previous work, this one incorporates other people. As I mentioned, this album had a much greater meaning to me and I wanted to put more of an effort into it. I decided it would be a severely horrible idea for me to attempt singing again (though the song Shoes has a half-assed attempt). Thankfully, there are people out there who can sing.

Romy Harmony completely killed it on Sever the Head, a battle style track that does one of the things I do best: talk shit and appear awesome. Her hook can be heard on other songs but for this, I absolutely loved it.

Sever the Head is one of my favorites on the album because I was able to throw down in a way that showed my skills have definitely evolved. The third verse has one of my favorite tongue twister lines:

while I disperse a universe of well-versed verses well immersed
in words that reverse the Billboard chart to pull them from the first

My words are born from hotness like Elizabeth Mitchell’s kid

Why is that last one a favorite? Because Elizabeth Mitchell is crazy hot, terrifically awesome, and that’s the only reason I needed.

Stephanie Kay, who clearly can’t take this shit anymore, was great on Failure. Anno Domini rocked the beat, she killed the hook, and I went into a depressing outpouring of frustration. It’s one of the only times I’ve done a song where it’s not completely about me and my issues. The second verse opens up and refers to these kinds of feelings as universal among people who are trying to fight against life, people who may have families depending on them as well. While no one can ever know how you feel, extreme frustration and pessimism while fighting for a goal is something that we all have in common when it comes to situations like I’m referring to.

As I stand out on this island looking back at this sea 
of misery and hopelessness, I can only blame me 
it’s not the government, it’s not the police, it’s not THEM 
no other boogieman so many like to blame for their sins
if I was better than I am then I could make through this 
if I was stronger and tougher then I could end all this shit 
if I had knowledge well ahead of failed attempts I could turn 
but I’m not Ashton Kutcher so I have no way to return 
with no direction but north, I move forth in search of more 
running on a waxed floor while I get fucked like a whore 
it seems no matter what I do I stay back so I attack 
every overdue bill and every shitty moment we have 
everything we ever face until this shit is erased 
because this is my place in life and I’m pursuing my fate

Many people, when faced with difficulties in life, choose to blame invisible boogeymen and resign themselves to being a victim rather than getting up and fighting back. This isn’t to say that problems don’t occur or issues do not cause you to fall. On the contrary, those things happen all the time. The problem is that people tend to be more apt to whine about them instead of doing something about them.

The government, the police, or any imaginary conspiracy is not why you aren’t where you should be in life. It is your life and you are responsible for it. You have to fight and fix it on your own. Get out of your own way.

Essentially the song is exposing my own trapped feelings of being nothing (though I never blamed anyone but myself) which finally ends in my acceptance of a need to stand the fuck up and stop waiting for everything to happen on its own.

In short, it tells Jobu that I’ll do it myself.

Tia Alexandra Frigaard is heard at the end of Shedding, the first actual song on the album. She is defining the whole album with her words. I’m tired of failing, I’m tired of feeling like shit. I need to get up and stop being a sad, pathetic pile of crap. Her words on that single verse track work perfectly as they are exactly the way I feel.

In the case of Shedding, the song basically tells you where I’m at right now. By right now, I mean as I write this. Pressure is something that follows me and I can do nothing but fight against it. At the same time, it is the driving force that pushes me forward.

The song is one long verse (certainly not the longest) but it needed to be said. It follows up directly behind the question about what’s been on my mind. Well, that’s your answer.

Metaled, when not falling into darkness, is doing what he does best. He spews rough, hard vocals that you wouldn’t likely expect on something like Shoes. But fuck you, he’s on it anyway! Keep your discriminatory shit to yourself!

Wait.

So anyway, Shoes is depressing. It takes a few steps backward in time to show that Quin may have been the sledgehammer that completely shattered me, but the cracks were already there. It wasn’t the easiest song for me to write, but it wasn’t the hardest either (that’s coming up). It was personally trying, but it came together. Metaled’s words at the end were dead on for this song. Mr Funktastic also proved he is the man when it comes to the piano. Seriously, that piano was perfect.

Speaking of musicians, Shortbus rocked the shit out of the guitar that you hear on Giant. Trying to change up the sound a bit, Giant comes out of left field with a quick vocal uppercut, built on a hard rock sound with vinyl cuts that make the song stand out even better.

Note: I have no idea if Shortbus has a site, but I’ll update this with a link if I find it.

As with past albums, you’ll hear the works of producers Anno Domini, Vherbal, VTZ, Shadowville, Hala-X, and Hi-Fly. I may have missed someone, so I’ll update this if that’s the case.

Deconstruction Shows The Darkest Part of Me

The song Trapped found on The Mind of God hinted at an issue I have, but it wasn’t until this album that I was able to really deal with it. Starting with Dangerous Mind, I attempted to break down the hell that I have existed in for far too long. I say attempted because it didn’t quite do it. The song mentioned one of the darkest, hardest and most terrifyingly real thoughts that I’ve had. Unfortunately, this didn’t end it and I had to create This is All True.

This is All True is built on multiple recurring nightmares and horrible thoughts that the news helped to implant into my brain. My mind likes to trap these ideas and force me to internally view them like a movie. Dreams have become my worst enemy. Far too many times have I seen the horrific things that I spoke of in that song. It’s one of those things that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. Watching your closest loved ones get tortured and killed in front of you night after night is mentally and emotionally exhausting. If this was just for a song, that would be one thing, but it wasn’t.

As I think about it, I probably should have called it “The Darkest Part of Me”. This was without a doubt the hardest, most depressing thing I’ve ever written. Making this was not easy at all and though my daughter had fun recording it, she had no idea what it was for. She just enjoyed recording something with Daddy, while Daddy was creating something he can’t even listen to anymore.

Vigilante is a good example of targeting and unleashing everything. Using various vigilante movies as fuel, in particular, the film of the same name, this song basically puts me in the role. I can completely understand a vigilante in situations like these and this song is directly connected to Trapped.

In a perfect world, children wouldn’t need protecting.

Following behind the most horrible was a song that was inspired by several ideas of what a perfect world would be. Mankind likes to act as if it’s something great. We pretend that being human has a grand, noble meaning. The problem is that we don’t practice it. If we really wanted to, we’d solve all of our problems. We would cancel every disease on this planet through the worldwide combined effort of everyone. Instead, we invest money in a variety of things that don’t matter. We don’t focus on that thing that everyone likes to say is the most important: life. We would rather bitch and complain about everything, attempt to mask hate and contempt in religion and ignore those who are in need. The only problem this planet has is us.

Crucifying the horse

I used to be very religious but that has since passed. Why? Because none of it makes any sense at all. I’m expected to believe a book because it says it’s the right one. It doesn’t prove it, it just says it is and expects you to believe it. They all do that. Somehow, they’re all correct and feature completely unbelievable nonsense that feels like you’re reading something written by Tolkien.

I’m tired of people trying to make me believe that their religion is correct. They almost force it down your throat. Chik-fil-a, Hobby Lobby, The Westboro Baptist Church…I’m sick of it. Stop trying to make everyone believe your version of Harry Potter. That, of course, would annoy the people I’m talking about.

“Harry Potter is just a made up book, our bible is the truth!”

Right, so why do I have to read it instead of just know it all, automatically? I have instincts built in that tell me to eat, so if your faith is so accurate why don’t I have that built in as well? Instead, I need to read a whole book written by a bunch of random dudes, all while people tell me it’s the word of a deity that is all powerful, yet can’t make it so we just know what he wants without deciphering this insanity. Also, if it was that important, it wouldn’t be for sale at all, anywhere.

The Truth is just what it says. The song points out all of the issues I see that are being ignored. Personally, I don’t care what someone believes in but for those people who think I need to believe it and try to make me convert to it…fuck you. Keep your delusions to yourself. Based on the way some people describe their hateful insane deity, you’re better off not going to him.

Where The Truth goes at religion, Deconstruction wouldn’t be complete without breaking the second rule of polite society by attacking politicians. Originally part of a campaign I had absolutely no time to deal with, Vote for Me 2012 is my latest tirade at the idiots who are actually ruining our country. It’s not gay people, rich people, or whatever other people who are trending in the “They are the Problem” poll; it’s the politicians.

The song is essentially me standing on stage between a couple of candidates (apparently Presidential but the rant applies to the rest as well), firing point after point into their wall of lies. No high ranking member of government knows what it’s like to be in the shoes of a regular person today. They make ridiculous amounts of money, vote raises for themselves, do very little actual work (that’s what they have assistants for), spend all of their time making up vague ideas and blaming the other side for problems that they had a hand in. They want to distract us with garbage like the gay marriage debate (why the fuck should we care who someone is marrying?!) and pretend like illegal immigration is something other than what it obviously is: ILLEGAL! They dump money into failing companies and expect us to pay for it. That makes no sense.

Vote for Me 2012 is telling you to vote for me instead of them. I have no chance of winning, but sending a vote for me means you believe in them so little that you’d rather throw your vote away. Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for an evil, it’s just the one saying the things you think are better though you know they won’t do it.

T.U.S.C. (KP) is featured on two collaborations. There are actually more of them but the album was already long enough. Mindless is a hard, crazy song that shows that Henry is clearly influencing some of the writing. Telling You, produced by Hala-X of Shadowville, lays down a calm sound with our typical style. As the song ends, a very hard and heavy song starts. It’s a snippet from the upcoming album from T.U.S.C. which is sure to be highly awesome.

In Retrospect, things were fucked

Looking back at all things that have affected me through music, certain elements stand out. I started this because of a girl who broke my heart. I then channeled the anger from that and targeted another woman who didn’t deserve it. In the middle, a friend of mine who I was basically a living diary for, figuratively shit on me when I needed her help. In Retrospect is a very high powered roller coaster that runs super fast, slows down, gets drunk and starts over. I’m speaking to three women in this song, telling them what I wish I could. The first being Quin, the reason I started this. I’m basically telling her that I destroyed my life because of her, but had I not met her and went through that then I wouldn’t have met my wife. I’m not sure if I’m forgiving her for it or what.

The second is the girl who shit on me (figuratively, of course). I listened to her drama queen bullshit night after night. When I needed her, she didn’t have time for me. It wasn’t that she really didn’t have time for me, she just didn’t want to listen. And it’s clear that I was a bit distracted while writing this because things could have been a lot more clear — and less tit focused — but essentially she is the type of person who would whine about not having friends, despite having tons of them. She was one of those attention whores that try to pretend she’s this desperate, friendless, ugly thing just to get compliments and hear people fawn over her. Her verse was definitely not written out of forgiveness.

The final verse went to Paris. Yeah, I know. No one expected that at all. However, around that time was when it occurred to me that, though I’m not a fan of her at all, going at her like I did make no sense. It was an effect of the UZI in a tornado reference I’ve made as it relates to my focus being everywhere. No Quin means I have no focus point. Instead, it shot at everything but threw most of it at Paris. Recognizing that, I apologized for the torrent that she likely never even noticed, much less gave a shit about.

The Magnum Opus of Deconstruction

Being that this album is the end of an era, where the failure and feeling of sorrow get off, it absolutely had to have a wrap up of what started this. The longest song on the album, a single verse comprised of 77 bars, All Things Must End is a massive retelling of what caused all of this. It tells how we met, how I felt in the beginning, what happened afterward and how I collapsed into a nightmare of depression and self-hate.

Some of what has been included in the song has never mentioned before. This was written to dump everything about my history and serves as a sort of autobiographical track that shows how I fell apart and finally started dragging myself back together.

The song was not easy to do. I had to keep a particular focus on how it was written to keep the emotion on a path. Nothing could be mentioned out of place (other than the part that eluded in the beginning to a failure in the end), and I needed to expel all of it. Start to now. That’s exactly what it does.

She kills me repeatedly

I’m a fan of the Paranormal Activity movies. The original scared the crap out of us because at the time, it wasn’t widely known about. We watched it with the original ending and my ex-wife ended up insisting that we sleep with the lights on.

At first the film rattled me a bit but as time moved on, a new plague hit my mind: Katie Featherston. My brain had invented a new terrible thought which is played out in the song Katie’s Coming. My weird, irrational fear of Katie eventually killing me had manifested itself in music, partially to kill off the effect it had on me.

After I wrote the original version, I decided the ending needed to be beefed up. This resulted in three endings being written with the second being my favorite. It lives in the same realm as She Isn’t Gone/I Hate You because of the way it ends.

Deconstruction is a massive achievement for me. Not only is it incredibly long but it took a lot of determination to get it right. I originally wanted to release it in December but it wasn’t yet complete. Last night, I finished the arrangement and sent a copy of it to T.U.S.C. Now it’s here. Feel free to download it, burn it, and play it until your face melts.